monthly column from lifestyle author/activist
Why Women Swing
When I learned that anthropologist Leanna Wolfe, author of Women Who May Never Marry, was scheduled to give a talk titled Why Women Swing I thought it would be interesting to interview her for this column. Quite frankly, some of her comments on the subject surprised me!
How did you become interested in the topic "Why Women Swing?"
Would you say that most Americans are satisfied with their sex lives?
Do males & females differ in their expectations when Swinging?
What do men/women find good/bad about Swinging?
Are female feelings toward sex more biologically/culturally determined?
Do the perceptions of Swingers change with age?
Is it true women have the power in Swinging?
Why don't more women want to become involved in Swinging?
Do you feel female interest in Swinging will grow in the 21st Century?
A nice thing about being on the radio is that you never have to lose an argument. If a caller starts getting the best of you, there's always the disconnect button. It's the same with writing up an interview. You always get the last word. So I'm going to have to try to be as fair as possible when commenting on some of the things Leanna Wolfe said that surprised me. Starting with her calling women who Swing " a cultural and biological aberration." It sounds very much like something Dr. Laura would say about Gays and, to my ear at least, suggests there might be something wrong with women in the Lifestyle besides simply being part of a minority. My personal view is that there's something right with them. If women are indeed " as sexually hot as men " then one might just as well make a case for the majority of women who don't Swing as being the aberrant ones.
Then too, why all the need for wining and dining that Ms. Wolfe demands? I can appreciate the need for foreplay but why would it also be necessary for the male to have to do a dance while spending big bucks? If the desire is for sex and not for any extended financial support then why waste time in a restaurant when it might be better spent in a bed? This smacks so much of women being taught " to use the promise of sex as a bargaining tool" that I find it frankly offensive. At a time when gender equality is supposed to be the goal, such men from Mars and women from Venus divisiveness is clearly counterproductive. It would be naive to say that many, perhaps even most, women don't see men as merely a means to a house and babies but shouldn't that make women who Swing appear just so much more honest and forthright in their relations with the opposite sex?
Also, regarding Wolfe's view of alpha males, why would guys who have to attract females with money and high priced living arrangements (while having to hide from the world at large and the wife in particular) be considered alpha males? It's true that one might not find a Ted Turner or a Bill Clinton at a Swing club down the street but, then again, why expect to find them anywhere unless one moves in the same circles. Then too, what's to be said of the female who trades sex behind the barn - as it were - and willingly agrees to be controlled by a male so long as he continues to pay the price. Is this an example of an alpha female?
Leanna Wolfe is currently researching her next book, When One Lover Isn't Enough, and asked me to ask you, the readers, for your input regarding the following:
Read viewer comment on this column.
Dr. Mason may be reached with comments and column suggestions at: DrSBMason@aol.com